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Arden

Her Many Charms

Arden is a beautiful and lush forest. In fact, it is the beautiful and lush forest of which all other beautiful and lush forests are but shadows. Deer play in the streams of Arden, carefree and confident that they won't be killed by thoughtless poachers, while wild hounds that can rip the head off of a bull romp and play in the meadows.

Vacationing in Genesh or maybe Memphis is exciting and exotic, but it can be very costly. The average family of four will have to sell off one of its children into slavery just to finance the trip. And that's not including food and lodging! Meanwhile, you can get to Arden on your own two feet. Here is just a short list of the exciting things Arden has to offer the Amber vacationer:

  • Idyllic settings for peaceful picnicking
  • Packs of wild wolves
  • Lush greenery
  • Cute bunnies and skunks
  • Friendly Rangers who will probably not kill your family as long as you stay within sight of the path
  • Poison oak, poison sumac, and poison ivy to teach your kids the joys of nature
  • Beautiful and shiny ravens who have eaten the eyes of some of Amber's most famous citizens of yore
  • Over 547 varieties of man-eating vegetation--many that look just like the harmless plants you have at home
  • Very few murderous, mythical beasts such as chimerae and manticores--hardly any at all!
As a special promotion, we took seven families into Arden and outfitted them with the finest of tents and camping equipment. Here's what they said about the experience:
  • "It was a bonding experience for my family. I've never felt closer to my son--the one that survived, that is. We just cried and hugged like never before at his mother's funeral."
  • "My mommy and daddy are dead now. My sister says they are in heaven, but I don't even know if Amberites believe in heaven."
  • "You just haven't lived until you've been forced to slow down a charging manticore by throwing your own children at it. Next year I plan to go to Memphis. I hear they can regrow your limbs for you there."
Out of the seven families, five survived the trip. You've gotta like those odds.